Going Back To Who I Used To Be

It's funny how changes happen to our lives. At one time we just wake up no longer doing what we used to do, and feeling like we are a different person already. Sometimes, we curse these changes especially if we are happy at how we were before that; and there are those who on the other hand thank those changes for happening...



I'd like to think that nothing has changed to me, just to find out that I am just trying to convince myself of its inexistence. Because, in reality there has been so much about me that's different. Just like how a line of a song goes (in its "mamais mais manner") "I'm not who I used to be". Then, I used to be the bravest soul ever. Having been used to life's complexities I looked at challenges as mere tests. And I loved it because just like in a literal test in school I always look forward to a good score and a good grade. I was so positive about things and I don't know how it happened but it seemed that the universe just conspired with what I wanted and I got it always.



...That was then because now, it's different. It's in fact the other way around. Worst thing is, I may have been fed up by the things happening that I do'nt have the same dose of confidence as before. It's deadly, 'coz not being confident kills. It's very lethal in a sense that it slowly eats up who you are. And I'm on the verge of getting caught into this arena, wherein I am left alone to fight my own battle. A matter no one but me could settle. I don't want to get trapped to this situation and the only thing for me to do now is to fight back and face whatever it is that I am bound to face. I may not get back to who I used to be before, but I can always look back at how I was and use it to be who I want to be in the future.



Maybe if I do something more than just to complain of what I am right now, I can still pull up myself and say to the world again that I AM BRAVE! and I am capable of doing even more than what others can do. I am me! and I'll always and forever be me.